Dissolve Trust Issues in Relationships
Relationship Rescue Course
Guidelines for Listeners

Dissolve trust issues in relationships. Overcome ego lies, learn how to speak to be heard, and really listen.

If you entered into your romantic partnership with a fear of intimacy, then you will encounter trust issues.

To put it bluntly, fear of intimacy - in-to-me-see - is caused by incorrectly believing that within you lies the despicable real you.

You wear a mask - a false you - to keep your partner from seeing who you think you are.

Relationship problems begin when you function from the false you - also known as the false ego.

Highly functioning individuals have no trust issues in relationships because they love themselves and they accept themselves as they are - warts and all.

They have eliminated emotional secrets - they may have emotions of anger and sadness and grief, but they are not ashamed of them, so have no fear of intimacy.

That is my wish for you.

Trust issues in relationships will become less and less important to you as you grow less and less dependent on others to prop you up and fill your needs.

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Page 1 - Introduction: Free Relationship Rescue Online Course.

You have learned the best ways to converse in this special conversation; now you are ready to learn how to listen to your partner.

After you settle down into your special place reserved for your speak-to-be-heard conversations; and after you have enjoyed a few relaxing moments of meditating together, then the conversation begins.

Your job, as listener, is to hold a space of unconditional love and compassion while your partner speaks.

Stay present, alert and still using your meditation techniques to keep you fully attententive

Maintain deep and loving eye contact the whole time your partner speaks.

If you find it difficult to look deeply into the eyes of your partner it is because you are afraid of what they will see - in-to-me-see.

But that is a thing of the past for you; you are learning to overcome trust issues in relationships, so be patient with yourself while you learn this new behavior.

Listen attentively from four levels: the spoken words; the tone of voice; your partner's body language, and your intuition.

Put your personal thoughts, feelings and judgments away on a shelf while your partner is sharing with you.

Do not interrupt for any reason.

Watch for a tendency to begin formulating a response before hearing the entire message. When you do that, you miss some of what your partner is saying.

Refrain from personalizing what is said or reacting defensively - even if an accidental you are this, or you are that spills out into your partner's expression.

It takes time and practice to change habits of speech, so be patient with each other. Just keep in mind that this is not about you.

Remember to maintain your awareness in the present moment.

Do not give advice to the speaker.

Check your need to be right at the door. You are not there to give advice, or counsel or even agree to what has been said.

No one knows the best solution to a problem better than its owner. In fact sometimes advice by others prevents one's inner wisdom to surface.

Believe what your partner says. In that moment of sharing, your partner may reveal an old buried and devastating wound from deep within; something that you have never heard before.

Freedom to express emotions is imperative for effective healing.

Check yourself for uncomfortable feelings arising in the presence of your partner's emotional upset.

The kindest and most effective assistance during the healing process is for you to return to the stillness within and consciously hold thoughts of unconditional love and compassion.

Do not touch to console or offer tissues to wipe tears away; however well-intentioned they seem to be, your discomfort will be felt by your partner and could stop the healing process.

Crying is an excellent form of stress-release.

Remember, this is not about you. Putting your partner's interests ahead of your own builds true intimacy and trust in relationships.

When the speaker has finished talking, allow a few silent moments to pass before you begin the clarifying process as described on Page 7.

The listener's job is not complete until the speaker feels that what was said has been received accurately.

Next>>>Page 7: Clarification Process

Return to Page 3. Recommended Reading List in the Course Outline

Return from Trust Issues In Relationships to Page 1. Introduction: Relationship Rescue Course