Relationship Rescue Online Course
Guidelines for Speakers

The best relationship rescue course first tames your false ego; empowers you to speak your truth to your partner in prescribed conversations; and gets to the core of your relationship problems.

From the pre-requisite readings and exercises in the Relationship Rescue Course Outline you now know that:

• your false ego is just a bundle of negative self-limiting thoughts;
• you can tame your ego with the exercise, Stop Your Busy Mind Chatter;
• qualities of highly functional individuals are achievable by doing the work; and
• relationship support is available upon request.

Your next steps are to learn how to speak to be heard; listen to really get what is being said; and then you are ready for your grand performance - the special daily conversations that will empower you to make the best choices for yourselves

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To get the most out of this online course, please go now to

Page 1 - Introduction: Free Relationship Rescue Online Course.

Speak from your heart.

Prior to your relationship rescue conversation you decide which issue you wish to express. And you also set your intentions for the best possible outcome for both you and your partner.

But, no prepared speeches are allowed here, nor is it necessary, or advisable, to mentally rehearse what you want to say.

Get your fearful ego self out of the way and allow your inner guidance to formulate the words in your mind.

In other words, use the watch-your-mind exercise to empty your mind of thoughts, or at least move your awareness beyond thoughts.

Or, use your meditation techniques, quiet your mind and allow a clear channel for your inner wisdom to deliver pure, undistorted thoughts to your conscious mind.

You will know your thoughts to be pure by your heightened feelings - like those you get with an Aha!

Stay on topic. Share just one issue in each session. Resist the urge to bring up past incidents of this same issue.

Keep your sentences concise, accurate and factual.

You have two minutes to say what you want. That is quite a long time to cover your feelings about one issue.

Be honest with yourself; if your tendency is to ramble on and jump topics, take a peek at the time, as soon as you are aware that you are off on a tangent.

Be gentle with yourself and know that after a few relationship rescue conversations you will know when to stop talking for this exercise.

Speaking from experience, don't watch the clock. It detracts from both speaking from inner wisdom, and listening from all levels.

Pause frequently and remain still and quiet to allow further thoughts to surface from your intuition.

Have you heard of the pregnant pause?

Trained speakers use pauses to powerfully impact their audience. Since this conversation is not a dialogue, you will not be interrupted during a pause, and you will allow the birthing of your next expression.

Avoid the use of the word YOU; keep your expression subjective. Begin your sentences with I feel.

If your issue is about a specific bothersome behavior of your partner, remember, you are sharing your feelings triggered by that behavior - it is not about your partner.

(Not convinced? Then ask yourself, Does that behavior affect everyone like it affects me?)

Take full responsibility for your feelings; own them, and refrain from judging your partner. I feel this about that.

Let go of expectations.

Your partner is under no obligation to make any changes in his/her life as a result of these sessions. Although a change may occur as a result of a new awareness.

Avoid asking questions in the relationship rescue conversation. The listener's only response to your expression is for the purpose of clarifying and understanding what you say.

Watch for habitual use of words like, why; I don't understand; I told you that. They tend to imply blame, and they distract your partner from listening to what you feel now, in the present moment.

Relax, and speak your truth freely - as if you had all the time in the world.

You will not be interrupted, nor will you be judged for anything you say.

Be patient - it takes time to learn new behavior.

When you feel complete and that you have expressed everything you wished your partner to hear, then let your partner know that you are ready to receive feedback.

During the clarification process of the relationship rescue conversation stay calm; use your meditation techniques to maintain your attention in the present moment.

The importance of staying calm cannot be overstated.

Emotional energy or feelings, such as defensiveness, resistance, anger, or betrayal are bound to be aroused by your honest expression. They are ego based, habitual and addictive.

They may never entirely be eliminated from your psyche - until such a time as you attain the highest possible goal of humanity - enlightenment.

But do not be discouraged; gradually as you "do the work" as they say - I'd rather call it play in this relationship rescue course - those feelings will be diminished and become less intense and very manageable.

Listen attentively to your partner's feedback.

Did your partner hear precisely what you intended?

Be gentle with yourself, and your partner, and continue the process until you are satisfied that you have been heard.

Relationship Support Line

Your ego is not going to take this sitting down. It will throw up defenses to save itself from being diminished.

And remember, that is your aim - to stop the negative self-destructive thought patterns that prevent you from enjoying a loving connection with your partner.

So please, at the first sign of thoughts like this isn't working, or I can't tell my partner this because he will leave me,

contact me immediately.

Next>>>Page 6 Guidelines for Listeners

Return to Page 3. Recommended Reading List in the Course Outline

Return from Guidelines to Speakers to Page 1. Introduction: Relationship Rescue Course